If you have a choice of selling shoes to ladies or giving birth to a flaming porcupine... look into that second, less painful career.

You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.

The only difference between the women I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him.

In life your dreams may not come true, but sooner or later one of your nightmares will.

Today, I bought a pastrami sandwich: $13.75. Walked back out in the street - genuine Rolex watch: six bucks.

Fifty per cent of all marriages end in divorce. But look at the bright side: the other 50 per cent end in death.

Live each day as if it were the last day of your life because, so far, it is.

The way I see life, it's like we're all flying on the Hindenburg, why fight over the window seats?

I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.

Success is like toilet paper, it only seems important when you don't have it.

Say whatever you want. But the United States has a kickass military and really good bullshit marketing people. If this country was a person it would be a used car salesman with a flamethrower.

A girl without braidsis like a city without bridges.

Watch the book trailer on You Tube /TheFabulousBookwormzillas

It's a never ending dream for everyone it seems, to find again what was once precious and has been lost.

To put away one's own original thoughts in order to take up a book is a sin against the Holy Ghost.

Hillary Clinton wants to approve the Trans-Pacific Partnership; that deal will be a disaster for North Carolina, for every state. Your state.

I think this is the biggest win in my career. To beat Venus in Wimbledon is just something amazing.

All green was anished sae of pine and yew, That still displayed their melancholy hue; Sae the green holly with its berries red, And the green moss that o'er the grael spread.

Food banking as well as other antihunger programs do a good job of managing poverty by alleviating its worst symptom, hunger.

When two opposite points of view are expressed with equal intensity, the truth does not necessarily lie exactly half way between. It is possible for one side simply to be wrong.

I grew up in Hollywood. Saying my name here is like mentioning Ford in Detroit