If you have it and you know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don't know you have it, you don't have it. If you don't have it but you think you have it, then you have it.

One of these days... One of these days... Pow! Right in the kisser!

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.

Sometimes the feeling that life is great just swells up inside you and fills you with joy.

Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at.

A lot of people say, 'Well, I like a challenge. 'I don't like challenges. Life is tough enough without any challenges.

Does God have a sense of humor? He must have if He created us.

Golf and women are a lot alike. You know you are not going to wind up with anything but grief, but you can't resist the impulse.

I'm no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. A drunkard doesn't like to go to meetings.

Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle.

We live in an age that cannibalises its past because it has lost faith in its future.

You make me greedy for you. I just can't get enough. I wish you would just accept it for what it is and trust me.

Just to give the audience a breath of fresh air is important.

I see my music as Emotional Therapeutic Pop music that bleeds into loads of different genres.

I was brought up Catholic. Then I had a joint and looked at the world differently.

I'm not intense at all. I'm always relaxed.

I'm a sports-watcher. I played football and baseball, coached baseball. So I watch those things.

I think it is the most beautiful and humane thing in the world, so to mingle gravity with pleasure that the one may not sink into melancholy, nor the other rise up into wantonness.

Do not have as your motive the desire to be known as a praying man. Get an inner chamber in which to pray where no one knows you are praying, shut the door, and talk to God in secret.

Men so noble, However faulty, yet should find respect For what they have been: 'tis a cruelty To load a falling man.