If you have to tell someone they call the shots, they're not really calling the shots.

Fate is the malevolent little jester sitting up in the heavens and pondering over how ridiculous we humans are and he does his best to make fools out of all of us. And sooner or later he succeeds.

... I discovered life sometimes has a way of giving you what you need, but not in the form you expect.

I think in a moment of weakness, you might surprise yourself.

A well-read woman is a dangerous creature.

I want to fill every part of you, breathe the air from your lungs and leave my handprints on your soul. I want to give you more pleasure than you can bear.

You are your own worst enemy. If you can learn to stop expecting impossible perfection, in yourself and others, you may find the happiness that has always eluded you.

He was my confidant, the person who was always on my side even when he wasn't taking my side.

Most men don't seem to get that telling a pissed-off woman to calm down is like throwing gunpowder on a fire.” ~ Liberty Jones

A couple of times in your life, it happens like that. You meet a stranger, and all you know is that you need to know everything about him.

I've always thought it was about finding the right person. But it's about choosing the right person, isn't it?

Had I crossed the passSupported by a stick, I would have spared myselfThe fall from the horse.

There was no way to have a civilized conversation with that guy. It's like he was raised by giraffes or something.

We all hold a monster inside. The only difference is what form it takes when freed.

The ideal leader is one who hears the voice of God, and beckons on as the voice calls him and them.

Relief is a short-lived emotion, passive and thin. The agony of doubt disappears, leaving little memory of how it really felt. Life aligns behind the new truth.

I have been further enlightened by the conversation and correspondence of some illustrious Italians, whom I would gladly name, were I not afraid of exposing them to danger.

As I get older, the character evolves tremendously because I'm married and have kids now and realize certain things are not funny anymore. I threw them out of my act.

If you don't like potlucks, the solution to your problem is "don't go to potlucks," not "insist other people don't have them."

One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.

Violence against embassies and civilians must be categorically condemned. At the same time, we must attempt to understand why such events occur.