If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Ever since meeting Charlie… his entire world was off it’s axis…

The public do not know enough to be experts yet know enough to decide between them.

I've never played for a draw in my life.

If your life were a book, and you were the author, how would you want your story to go?

Shahidullah Shahid said there is nothing Islamic in Pakistan’s constitution. He clearly can’t read. The truth is there is nothing Islamic in the TTP.

People say, ''I'm a woman trapped in a man's body'' or ''I'm a man trapped in a woman's body,'' but I say ''I'm trapped in a body.''

The idea of reasoning with terrorists without force or with appeasement is naive, and I think it's dangerous

People go, 'Hey, did you do anything special for the Super Bowl?' Well no, I like to think I do the same amount of work every week getting ready for a game.

Life is the dance between what you desire most, and what you fear most

Stagnation is something worse than death. It is corruption, also.