If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.

Read the Scripture to renew your mind.Mediate on the Scripture to nourish your soul.Affirm the Scripture to revive your spirit

Wisdom of the Ages: "Valentine's Day" Because she never forgets, especially if you do.

Indifference to one's own faith is no proof of tolerance. Loyalty to one's own is part of a larger loyalty to faith generally.

If you like the post office and the Department of Motor Vehicles and you think they're run well, just wait till you see Medicare, Medicaid and health care done by the government.

I've been going to the same grocery store for 13 years, and all of a sudden one day everybody was like, 'Oh, my God.

It was wise enough to know itself, and brave enough to be itself, and wild enough to change itself while somehow staying altogether true.

She's as headstrong as an allegory on the banks of the Nile.

If you want customers to hear about you, make something worth talking about.

When you get a man, you have to nurture him. Treat him like a king. If you put that little work in in the beginning, it pays off.

Spring passes and one remembers one's innocence.