If you lend someone 20 dollars and never see that person again, it's probably worth it.

When you finally go back to your old home, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood.

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

A man can please his wife with a box of candy, surprise her with a bouquet of flowers, and make her suspicious with a gold bracelet.

A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day.

It's not the hours you put in your work that counts, it's the work you put in the hours.

Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.

Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.

For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for nature cannot be fooled.

If you really want it, then you'll make your dream happen.

This existenitalist stuff sure is crap

It might be said now that I have the best of both worlds. A Harvard education and a Yale degree.

I have demons you can't even imagine.

The human body is something that I truly love, above all else.

Hatred is a very underestimated emotion.

Somehow the anticipation of pain can be even more troubling, more a misery than the pain itself.

When someone we love dies, we get so busy mourning what died that we ignore what didn't.

I'm not in a party. I am a party.