If you listed all the reasons for your faith, and all the things that make you cry, it would be essentially the same list.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.

You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.

Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same.

It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions.

For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends.

On a windswept hill by a billowing sea, my destiny sits and waits for me.

It is not that love is blind. It is that love sees with a painter's eye, finding the essence that renders all else background.

Behold the power of the truth. When people see its shadow on the wall, they don't want to take the time to look away.

I couldn't think of anything worse than being in an unhappy marriage. It worries me because I've seen it destroy people.

I stood up for myself as I always have done. Nobody has ever told Coco Chanel what to think.

It disturbed me that the music industry had gone down the drain, even though people were listening to more music than ever and from a greater diversity of artists.

You don't notice the referee during the game unless he makes a bad call.

My stand-up is quite good now, people say. It's just like a big conversation each time. Every gig is a rehearsal.

Everybody eats, everybody learns to cook

We cannot and must not get rid of nor deny our characteristics. But we can give them shape and direction.

I’d say that music is my wife, acting's my mistress – I like 'em both, so I hope I don’t have to choose.

If you don't decide what your life is about, it defaults to what you spend your days doing.