If you listen to a language for 15 minutes, you know the rhythm and song.

In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed.

The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one.

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.

Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.

If you can't stand yourself, neither can anybody else!

The best thing about humour is that it shows people they are not alone.

A great NOW will be a great WAS! A bad NOW will always be a bad WAS, and all you can hope for is a Great GONNA BE!

If you have no tragedy, you have no comedy. Crying and laughing are the same emotion. If you laugh too hard, you cry. And vice versa.

Jazz is a beautiful woman whose older brother is a policeman.

People come up to me and they thank me: 'I thank you for the many, many hours of laughter.'

Education is a system of imposed ignorance.

Changes is the mother of time. Absence of changes makes no time.

Darkness moves like a pack of wild dogs.The wind moves like a wounded animal.The ground must be full of teeth by now.

All men and women have an equal need for love. When these needs are not fulfilled it is easy to have our feelings hurt, for which we blame our partner.

The delicate thought, that cannot find expression, For ruder speech too fair, That, like thy petals, trembles in possession, And scatters on the air.

I love little Peter Pan collars and little puff sleeves.

I grew up kind of a tomboy and I used to fight with all the neighborhood boys.

I don't deal in technique. I deal in emotions.

Old and young disbelieve one another's truths.

The publishing industry is stuck somewhere in the Jurassic era.