If you look at the Bible and you look at Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we all know who sinned first. Ladies, do you have to eat everything?

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.

Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

The flat-brimmed cap is the modern day dunce cap.

They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'

He worshipped at the temple of her intellect and I believe it was a comfort to him to know that she left our world with it still shining.

In childhood, we learn to remember everything and later, meditate to forget everything!!!!

It is better to do one's own duty, however defective it may be, than to follow the duty of another, however well one may perform it. He who does his duty as his own nature reveals it, never sins.

You can't give the government the power to do good without also giving it the power to do bad - in fact, to do anything it wants.

I always have a funny story at communion time that underscores that no one is perfect, and that communion is not for perfect people but for hungry people.

In love the ordinary is made sacred.

Obviously Feministing is kind of a women's space in a certain way, even though we have a lot of male readership and people who don't identify as women.

Life's tricky for women because they have to make more choices than men. And yes, choice is good, but boy, you better be an expert choice-maker.

As long as you have more cash flowing in than flowing out, your investment is a good investment.

There is something particularly fascinating about seeing places you know in a piece of art - be that in a film, or a photograph or painting.