If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

The dripping blood our only drink, The bloody flesh our only food:In spite of which we like to thinkThat we are sound, substantial flesh and blood--Again, in spite of that, we call this Friday good.

What matters is the living have breath!

He who seeks for applause only from without has all his happiness in another's keeping.

They dream in courtship but in wedlock wake.

I had a New Year's kiss once. But it was like, "Let's start the year off together," and then we wound up breaking up the night after!

Walls have tongues, and hedges ears.

I have written the only diet book that I believe needs to exist, and here it is: CHAPTER ONE: Eat a bit less. CHAPTER TWO: Move about a bit more. THE END.

The Constitution was made for ordinary people.

As a believer is changed, receiving a glorified body, so similarly, the earth is changed into a new earth, unstained by sin.

Mad people = People who stand alone and burn. I'm attracted to them because they give me permission to do the same.