If you make enough bad decisions, every once in a while things work out for you.

My life is a series of dumb choices

Nothing is more frightening than a monster that cares about his health, cause you know he'll be around for a while.

Don't go to college. Make videos on YouTube.

When you hit 'Save' on a spread sheet and you assign a spreadsheet to something, that [stuff] becomes official.

Your lover should be your best friend.... Love can be a choice as much as an accident.

Did you ever try to sleep sober?

Hervey (Weinstein) thank you for killing whoever you had to kill to get me up here today.

I have always had a need for attention but didn't plan to be a comic.

DNI director [James] Clapper said as much many, many times, that there is no evidence that any outcome of the election was changed.

If architects weren't arrogant, they wouldn't be architects. I don't know a modest good architect.

You cannot possibly invent painting all by yourself.

We think we understand another person's struggle until God reveals the same shortcomings in our lives.

I'm pretty proud of my film music in general.

Sit!' -Kagome (to InuYasha and he falls.)