If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

I don't buy dreams, i buy actions

in piecesyet at peacei am a building in a post war city

Consume life before it spoils.

For years I dreamed of having the sort of massive oak slab that would dominate a room...

Moments. All gathering towards this one.

Time and distance have a way of playing tricks with your best intentions.

As Donald Trump continues to dominate the 2016 field, the Republican establishment's low-grade anxiety is becoming an all-out panic

The night has a capacity for terror that the day can never match.

You don’t have to say that nature is aware of your existence, that God knows you are here. The camera gives you proof that you have lived at least once.

Let every thought come and hug you, but you don't hug anything. Then, gradually, the noise will start to back off.