If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

There was so little I wanted to carry. Packing my backpack took me all of four minutes

A little misery, at times, makes one appreciate happiness more.

The truth was much more beautiful.

Real politics are the possession and distribution of power.

As a former attorney general. I have the greatest respect for the criminal justice system. But it is not good at intelligence gathering.

The practice of S/M is the creation of pleasure.... And that's why S/M is really a subculture. It's a process of invention. S/M isthe use of a strategic relationship as a source of pleasure.

He does not deserve this. He has done many things, not all good, but he does not deserve this. And he never did get his priest.

The importance of a high moral code, which is at the foundation of the Scout movement, cannot be stressed too highly.

Anything worth achieving in life has a dip

The recommended daily requirement for hugs is: four per day for survival, eight per day for maintenance, and twelve per day for growth.