If you put me in South Park, that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes.

Brits have a better sense of humor in most ways. It's darker, more cutting.

When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders.

If somebody is not on the same page with me humor wise, I can't give them that.

I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.

It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian tiger-from a distance, preferably separated by bars.

You can write a little and can draw a little, but there's necessarily a limitation on both in a comic strip, since it appears in such a tiny space.

Sticking to my schedule, Ive gotten over seven months ahead, which allowed me to write a Pearls Before Swine movie script for the big screen.

I was a lawyer for 10 years, and when youre in law, things really have to get done, or somebody sues you. Its a great trick.

Most poetry just confounds me. I really want to like it, but I can't help thinking it's a hoax. (p. 24)

The writing is done on the computer, and the drawing is done by hand. I write, write, write, then I hit the illustration.

Because, wherever your heart is, that is where you´ll find your treasure

Your lack of attention to detail is why no one is paying attention to you.‪‎Professionalism‬, ‪Communication‬ & Follow Through Builds Real Success.

Memory all to easily accommodates the corruption of regret.

My colleagues are my colleagues, my friends are my friends. It's never been male or female.

I'm a child of the 70's; influenced mostly by albums that had a wide variety of style.

No one gets out of this world alive, so the time to live, learn, care, share, celebrate, and love is now.

The problem with memory is that is changes whatever it touches. It is never that accurate. As a result, I end up modifying and revising my own experiences. It's myth making.

Frankly, despite my horror of the press, I'd love to rise from the grave every ten years or so and go buy a few newspapers.

I have never taken myself that seriously as an actor.