If you quit being cunty, the whole world will stop being against you.

Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.

I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.

Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.

In battle, it is not the strongest or the bravest or those with the greater numbers who win. Victory belongs to the side that best understands the price of defeat.

If only it felt like an academic exercise when she kissed him, instead of a soul-drowning tsunami of want and need.

I can be an arrogant people If I have to, or when the situation demands me to act so.It is one way for me to make arrogance useful.So if I know not people well, I don't judge them.

It was really cool going to Sea World. We had an amazing time. They were amazing to us. We got to swim with the dolphins, and it was really special.

I cannot exist without the oxygen of laughter.

Compassion for ourselves gives rise to the power to transform resentment into forgiveness, hatred into friendliness, and fear into respect for all beings.

The right to reticence seems earned only by having nothing to hide.

I've been in the twilight of my career longer than most people have had their career.

Drive out Nature with a fork, she comes running back.

I don't think a baker reads an awful lot about bread.