If you're a gunfighter, you like to die in the street.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

My taste in music originates from my culture and heritage, and from traveling the world and listening to all kinds of fun sounds and bits.

"What's up?" "I don't know," said Marvin, "I've never been there."

Evangelical Christianity, as everyone knows, is founded upon hate, as the Christianity of Christ was founded upon love.

Breaking into a country signals quite reliably a willingness to break yet more of the invaded country's laws.

My goal is to never lose. That may not be realistic, but I'm going to try.

The mentality of coaches and players alike [in Bundesliga]. It's all about winning.

One must not imitate the sun, one must make oneself into a sun.

It is a great moment in life when a father sees a son grow taller than he or reach farther.

My muse is very often, in my mind, a nagger. She nags me.

I don't think there's anywhere to draw the line sexually.