If you're a host of a video show and you're on the cleanest show on television for eight years, people want to say, 'Well, that's what that person does.' That was the dilemma for me, career-wise.

I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them

Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored.

I'd like a nice piece of salmon that's not too pink inside and yet isn't too dry or crisp either.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. And if that doesn't work out for you, Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

Behind every great man in prison is another great man in prison.

My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.

Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I'm going back to bed.

If someone sprays windex in your food it can give you diarrhea. But once you wipe it off your windows, you're fine.

I don't roll like that but I've never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that's good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that's a little disturbing.

My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that's how he dealt with my mom.

A candidate with no experience they would package as a citizen politician, a lifetime hack as an elder statesman.

Endurance is the prerogative of woman, enabling the gentlest to suffer what would cause terror to manhood.

The more faithfully you listen to the voices within you, the better you will hear what is sounding outside.

How many times can you play an action character, or a quirky romantic? Every actor has to find his own way to make each character unique.

Through the chill of December the early winter moans... but it's that January wind that rattles old bones.

There's something about a parenthesis in fiction that puts one off, saying, "It's me, moi, jumping in now."

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

If life is an illusion it's a pretty painful one.

It's not what enters men's mouth that is evil," said the alchemist. It's what comes out of their mouths that is.

That could be a high water mark for the Green Party in its history. What two states, I can only guess, aren't you going to be on because of horrendous obstacles to getting on the ballot.