If you're a perfectionist and you know you're about to do something at which you cannot be perfect, then that is daunting because you know what your heart is like and the way you approach your work.

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.

Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.

Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.

It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.

This is America. We must defend the principles symbolized by Lady Liberty - unless she's on the pill, in which case, she is a giant green tramp.

Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.

What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!

Gospel change is the Spirit of God using the story of God to make the beauty of God come alive in our hearts

I am very, very happy for Alice Walker.

The only thing I knew how to do was draw and play music.

My mind's monumental, my pen is penetration That produce words that bleed on the pad like menstruation

I've seen a lot of 'Show Boats,' but I've never seen the one that thoroughly satisfies me.

Poetry is nothing but healthy speech.

It is amazing how much light the Bible shines on commentaries

You create opportunities by performing, not complaining

Let's be honest, the fact that Michael [Gove] announced very late in the process this morning that he was going to put his name forward, showed how much he had wrestled with this.

My attention span is all over the place, and I overthink things. I'm an insomniac.