If you're a redneck, you have that blood flowing through your veins. That's almost on the bucket list, to hear "Freebird" live.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Look up at the moon

Sleep, Maya, " he murmured softly. "Sleep, my love, and I promise that I will come looking for you.

Sensual pleasures have the fleeting brilliance of a comet; a happy marriage has the tranquillity of a lovely sunset.

I think perhaps the greatest book ever written was Ulysses by James Joyce.

the mother's first job is to raise a daughter strong enough to outlast her.

Can you drive any faster?" Tohr demanded. "I got the pedal to the medal" The angel looked back. "And I don't care what I have to mow over

Do you know, that is the root of the whole trouble - has been one of the roots at any rate - is people hearing things and then imagining some more and magnifying it and multiplying it.

I never went to the Beatles' concerts to scream. I never screamed at anybody's show. I was on my feet with the entire, all of the crowned heads of Motown, and we were shrieking our guts out.

Women encourage men to be childish, then scold them.

Obamas IRS is not the IRS Ive ever known for over seventy years as an American citizen.