If you're committed enough, you can make any story work. I once told a woman I was Kevin Costner, and it worked because I believed it.

My daughter got me a 'World's Best Dad' mug. So we know she's sarcastic.

We're all real people with moments of intense honesty and pathos and humanity. We all experience that, whether you're comedic or not.

You say you're going to be the pope, become the pope.

Don't say you're going to stop eating red meat when you like red meat.

If you surround me with darkness, suddenly, I am "somewhat fun."

Everybody needs some good sketch comedy.

We don't feel constrained by what we did in the past.

The world needs less destruction.

The laugh is what trumps everything.

You shouldn't eat red meat, but you shouldn't make resolutions you can't keep.

Civilize The Mind, But Make Savage The Body.

Forgiveness makes you feel better. As soon as you forgive, you're free.

Jesus Christ is my savior, not the government.

Don’t comply with what everyone says

No state or society can claim to have established human rights once and for all.

You say you need help. Help for what? You have everything needed for the extravagant journey that is your life.

Words may help and silence may help, but the one thing needful is that the heart should turn to its Maker as the needle turns to the pole. For this we must be still.

... not talking about things she doesn't understand to people who do or about things she does to people who don't.

I've got life, I've got love, I've got faith & that's enough. We feel sorrow we feel pain, but there's sunshine after rain.

When the day comes, I remember how much I loathe flying. I seethe at the humiliation of airport security checks.