If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you won’t even say one of them [the n-word], that’s the worse word.

The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.

Ill book a ticket on some garbage airline. I dont wanna name an actual airline so lets make one up, lets just call it like Delta Airlines

I was always the squarest person in the cool room, and alternatively, sometimes the weirder person at the mainstream table.

Why do people shush animals? Theyve never spoken

I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.

I'm a very lucky person. I'm an idiot, and I've shoveled through life rather nicely so far, so I don't feel like I deserve good treatment.

All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don't understand it.

I plan to join the 'SNL' band as a maraca player and stand behind saxophonist Lenny Pickett. That way they will at least cut to me before commercial breaks. I'll be sure to look right into camera.

I like when things are crazy. Something good comes out of exhaustion.

Comfort is everything. You start doing something and you want it to be perfect right away, but most babies are born ugly and then they shake it out and you get beautiful toddlers.

Better to shun the bait than struggle in the snare.

If you are going through hell, keep going

God wants to use you right where you are with what you have not what you do not have.

I can't do Christopher Walken impressions anymore, thanks [Barack] Obama.

The financial industry is a service industry. It should serve others before it serves itself.

If we'd lost the war, we'd all have been prosecuted as war criminals.

Middlesbrough is the second greatest place to live in Britain! Behind Hartlepool.

Flower lifted a brow, dubious. 'You have to pay for a place to be dead in?' Moon shrugged. 'Sometimes, in cities. It’s a groundling thing.

The grave is but the threshold of eternity. What a world were this, how unendurable its weight, If they whom death hath sundered, did not meet again!

It felt like strappy sandals were looking really old lady-ish; really dated and not cool.