If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

You said you want to became Hokage. I have become the Kazekage. If you are willing to bear the name Kage, you have to do what you must do.

He screamed in agony as large black wings erupted from his back - each had four large talons on it.

Half-liberty comes with wisdom, full liberty with death.

The entire universe is working against me. I can't believe the entire universe could be that foolish!

I didn't put out this album because I wanted everybody to know I was grown up. I'm 21 and that's not grown up.

... the true function of a lawyer was to unite parties driven asunder.

A day will come when the nationalists will find themselves the only defenders of Islam. They will have to give a special meaning to it if they want the Arab nation to have a good reason for survival.

The days that are still to come are the wisest witnesses.

One of the primary reasons why people struggle financially is because they cannot control their emotion of fear.

Being in love, you know... it's not like having a canary, in a cage. When you lose one sweetheart, you can't just go out and get another to replace her.