If you're funny, you can find a stage to get on. If you're good, you'll start to get work and eventually get paid.

I often think about my future wife and how lax she's been about getting in touch with me.

I'm keeping in shape, you know, gotta look good for the ladies - and certain guys. Hey, I can't control who's looking. I just gotta bring the heat.

You'll get them tomorrow. You gave it a good shot. Keep your chin up.

The more you perform, the more adept you get at the nuances of navigating that communal conversation.

I belong to a gym now... well, let me rephrase that: I don't belong there at all, but I go.

The blues is a hopeful music. It helps you process something rather than avoid it. It's like mourning, in essence.

I think there comes a time in any comedian's career where they can either coast or keep growing and evolving.

Comedy takes all of life and puts it through a lens of acceptance, just by the mere act of talking about it on stage in a communal setting. It's very primal and ritualistic in that sense.

Inherent in mourning is celebration. Mourning without celebration or some form of acceptance leaves you stuck.

Comedians act every night on stage, so they have great performing chops. They especially know how to play themselves, which is how we set 'Teachers Lounge' up.

Be kind to all pets and animals because they will be kind back to you.

In 1978, the tradition of running from village to village with a message was revived. that first run was from Davis to Los Angeles, a distance of 500 miles

In the instant of our first breath, we are infused with the single greatest force in the universe--the power to translate the possibilities of our minds into the reality of our world.

Being all fashioned of the self-same dust, let us be merciful as well as just

Should we really let our people starve so we can pay our debts.

Holy joy will be oil to the wheels of our obedience.

I don't really ever worry about what anyone else does and I certainly don't worry about what anyone else says about me.

Plenty of people get excited about the universe.

To love again, you must not discard what has happened to you, but take from it the strength you'll need to carry on.

Losers have tons of variety. Champions just take pride in learning to hit the same old boring winning shots.