If you're going to be a good standup, or a successful standup, or a standup who can work for money, you have to eliminate the possibility of dying quickly.

People said, ‘You must be mad, or on drugs,’ which I found a bit disappointing. What about imagination? It reflects our time that people sooner assume you’re on drugs or mad, rather than free.

No means yes in grasshopper language.

Reality depresses me. I need to find fantasy worlds and escape in them.

It's impossible to be unhappy while wearing a poncho!

All my friends got dogs and cats for Christmas, and I got a starfish called Roy. I used to take him down to the park on a lead.

When I'm 70 I might be a man in a park just wandering around, speaking in tongues with kids throwing bread at me.

Never try and go on a solo mission on your own.

I've had a really weird day, some joker threw bamboo in the penguin enclosure. They all vaulted out. It was a nightmare, it took me all morning to get them back in.

I don't really like jokes in a way. I mean gags are fine but I like weird moments where what you have isn't really a joke, just tiny moments.

I've got it all in here ultra violets, flying saucers, strawberry bootlace come on get involved.

No matter how much experience you have, there’s always something new you can learn and room for improvement.

Society as a whole is more and more splitting up into two great hostile camps

I do not know any way so sure of making others happy as of being so oneself, to begin with.

I was motivated to improve the U.S. strategy of going back to the moon in 1985. That's a long time ago. Going back to the moon would be a great achievement for tourism adventure flights.

It's challenging as an actor to let go but I had some pleasure out of it too. To not have the effort of having to present myself is quite liberating.

True love is not a potion one person can swallow and another refuse to drink. It happens only when the souls of two join together to form one

Knowledge would be fatal. It is the uncertainty that charms one. A mist makes things wonderful.

We do not have time to play at "oppositions" at "conferences." We will keep our political opponents... whether open or disguised as "nonparty," in prison.

I was born under the Blue Ridge, and under that side which is blue in the evening light, in a wild land of game and forest and rushing waters.

Friendship is a mysterious and ocean-bottom thing. Who can know the outer ranges of it? Perhaps no human being has ever explored its limits.