If you're going to love somebody, love somebody who needs it.

When I die, I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin. I wonder would they know it was me?

On Being Old. It's not nice but take comfort that you won't stay that way for ever.

Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

I'm starved for love. Not ordinary love but real love. The love that's like music or something.

Dear Mr Skully, I have caught my neck in a mangle and will be indisposed for eternity. Yours in death S.D.

Expect the worst and that's what you'll get only it will be much worse.

I got disappointed in human nature as well and gave it up because I found it too much like my own.

The purpose of writing is to make your mother and father drop dead with shame.

Revenge is what I want. Nothing but pure unadulterated revenge. But my mother brought me up to be a lady.

Rid the mind of knowledge when looking for pleasure. Or start thinking and find a lot of pain.

True happiness is not found. It finds you.

In my experience, it tends to be a real reflection of someone's intelligence, confidence and sensitivity when they can just be real.

It is not an act of bravery to try to save your own village. It is an instinct to protect what you possess. Bravery is when you step in to help when you have nothing to lose.

Whenever there is a conflict between universal principles and self-interest, self-interest is likely to prevail.

If I'm ever in a weird car accident, or I commit suicide or something, after the media stops celebrating my death, could they check into it? Because I'm not suicidal. And I'm a pretty good driver.

A man is like a rope: both break at a definite strain....The solution is not splicing the rope; it's lessening the tension.

I cook. I go to farmers markets in London and cook really good sort of organic foods.

I make appearances, but I really want to spend more time fishing. That is what I really enjoy doing with my spare time.

Thrift is of great revenue.

I thank God every day. That's all I can do. That, and try to help all those other guys who are trying to do what I did.