If you're going to pick a book and you want to base a system of government around it, why not 'Harry Potter?'

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

Culture now spreads at central nervous system speed. It’s a shame that compassion doesn’t.

It’s absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we’ve got rockets, we’ve got saran wrap – FIX IT!!!

I believe that the internet as an open platform for distribution could be a great chance for the diversity of film production.

You only have to bat 1.000 in two things-flying and heart transplants. Everything else, you can go four in five.

Divas are not made, they are born.

We get a lot of overseas people wanting to order cakes.

The silence of a wise man is always meaningful.

As a general rule, people disappoint you as you know them.

Also, there are authors and publicists using the Internet to manipulate opinion, both positively for a work and negatively against the competition. I don't do this and can't stomach it, honestly.

Two voices are there; one is of the sea, One of the mountains: each a mighty Voice.