If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!

To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.

God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.

If you have goals and procrastination, you have nothing. If you have goals and you take action, you will have anything you want.

Once heaven is done with grandma, we'd like her back, thanks.

Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money.

On the occasion of Mahatma Gandhi's birthday, I salute every individual who honors the core values of his legacy, making him proud of humanity.

Advertising companies hire the very brightest, wittiest young people to write for them. Not one single sentence of it is worth repeating. Why? Because it wasn't meant.

The world is a beautiful book, but of little use to him who cannot read it.

I don't think I've ever written about me. I'm not a character in any of my plays, except that boy, that silent boy that turns up in Three Tall Women.

The mind is international and supra-national ... it ought to serve not war and annihilation, but peace and reconciliation.

People ask me why I use words and the reason, of course, is that words talk to you. I mean, they're something that are generated inside of you and that you can relate to you.

A well-tailored suit is important - and I don't like wearing belts with mine - it should be tailored to your body.