If you're politically correct, chances are you're not coming to one of my shows. I get to go onstage and say things that everybody thinks all the time, but can't say out loud.

Self-worth and financial worth become indistinguishable.

I don't make the stereotypes, I just see them.

Indians are the second largest population in the world, but we're invisible on TV - everything is either black or white.

I DJ and I'm a harsh critic of DJs.

Stand-up and boxing are very similar. You're the only one out there, you're going into a fight, and you're going in with a game plan.

Azhar Usman is very funny, deeply spiritual, and extremely hairy. He's like Zach Galifianakis meets Deepak Chopra-and funnier than you'd expect that combination to be.

I'm not a media darling. I'm forever the outsider, for whatever the reason is.

Who I am on stage is just an amped up version of who I am in real life.

I do a lot of cultural material that's based on my traveling around the world. I basically just report what I've seen and where I've been.

I love being a dad, and I'm a great dad.

Success and talent aren’t even in the same neighborhood.

If we unite, we can surmount any mountain and make things happen for the betterment of all.

When you work with a great director, you realise you are far from being a director.

There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labor. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each others throat.

Life, after all, should go forwards, not backwards.

One of the nicest things is that I still get, very ambiguously, people saying to me, "Oh, I'm just reading your book." And I say, "Which one, for God's sake, I've done six now!" "Oceans of Sound".

It's not unpatriotic to denounce an injustice committed on our behalf, perhaps it's the most patriotic thing we can do.

Patience is a fruit that only grows under trials.

It doesn't take much to say please or thank you.

The American does not drink at meals as a sensible man should. Indeed, he has no meals. He stuffs for ten minutes thrice a day.