If you refuse to see Superman Returns this summer, what you're saying about yourself is: I heart Al Qaeda.

The thing is - I'm not an idiot. I'm rather intelligent, as proven by the fact that I just used the word 'rather' in a sentence.

Michael Jackson's charity efforts? Mmm. I'm sure they have nothing to do with his molestation charges.

I was told by a physician to avoid any line of work where people need to, um, depend on me for anything.

The Smurf village was destroyed weeks ago and Bush has still not made an appearance. George Bush doesn't care about tiny blue people.

America may be entering it’s Michael Jordan on the Wizards period.

There comes a point where the disappointments in your life accrue faster than you can find external forces to blame them on.

I haven't had a drink in twelve days and I've gotta say, I'm pretty shocked at how boring people are.

I used to play bass for a while and got to the point where I was good enough to be in a shitty band.

You rarely hear anyone use the word pancreas in a not-horrible context.

Canada, or as i call them, America Light.

One of the greatest tragedies in life is to lose your own sense of self and accept the version of you that is expected by everyone else.

Soon, when all is well, you're going to look back on this period of your life and be so glad that you never gave up.

If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.

You don't blast a heart open, " she said. "You coax and nurture it open, like the sun does to a rose.

People who are afraid to become gods say “it's impossible

That's what courage is. If she weren't scared, she wouldn't need courage in the first place." -Jo

The rules are simple!

Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.

If you change the rules of the market, you can be more successful than your competitors.

That really hurt my feelings, bro.