If you shoot a Mime, do you need to use a silencer?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

There are two kinds of people in this world. 'I' people and 'we' people. I've always tried to be a 'we' person.

Top Democrats have mixed feelings about Sen. Hillary Clinton running for president. Apparently, some Democrats don't like the idea, while others hate it.

I hope that Republicans in the House and Mr. Cantor will embrace that as part of immigration reform.

There have been more people disenfranchised in Washington than there have been in Kuwait.

Whatever your career may be, do not let yourselves become tainted by a deprecating and barren scepticism.

Cakes have such a terrible habit of turning out bad just when you especially want them to be good.

Literature begins with the possible model of experience, and what it produces is the literary model we call the classic.

If Nature had been comfortable, mankind would never have invented architecture.

The Truly Healthy environment is not merely safe but stimulating.