If you stop eating donutes you will live 3 years longer.It's just 3 more years that you want a donut. < . ) < .

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

I am no faint-heart when it comes to the unpleasant truth. Indeed I have always taken a bracing sort of pleasure in facing it.

Most people are afraid of failing. I think there's nothing wrong in failing.

I don't know how this guy knew how much money I was making. I didn't know how much money I was making.

The key to controlling your own political party, so that it does not eat you alive, is to realize that while Democratic and Republican leaders differ sharply, their voters do not.

We should be a mirror of being: we are God in miniature.

I've been trying to get Mr. Finchem to lengthen 5 and 7 and 14 and 18 - and he's being a mule.

As much as we all talk about the future and how so many things are merging, there is a simplicity that is crucial.

Everything you do is different, and you find different chords in every character that you play that strike true with you.

The white people have no right to take the land from the Indians, because the Indians had it first.

Happy the heart where love has come to birth.