If you talk about yourself, he'll think you're boring. If you talk about others, he'll think you're a gossip. If you talk about him, he'll think you're a brilliant conversationalist.

A basic rule of baking is that, in general, it's almost impossible to make an inedible batch of brownies.

My sister taught me everything I really need to know, and she was only in sixth grade at the time.

desserts are the most crucial part of any meal.

More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you've been bad and good.

If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child.

Your sister is the only creature on earth who shares your heritage, history, environment, DNA, bone structure, and contempt for stupid Aunt Gertie.

I discovered, quite early in motherhood, that the longest and most painful deliveries occur when you give birth to stepchildren.

If sisters were free to express how they really feel, parents would hear this: "Give me all the attention and all the toys and send Rebecca to live with Grandma."

There are three very good reasons to travel: 1. See the world. 2. Meet new people. 3. Room service.

I wasn't very good about the pain. I started screaming for painkillers after the third contraction and didn't stop until my daughter was eating solid food.

Now is the only time we have, and the only time that we have any control over.

A goal without a plan is only a dream.

I listen. I like to give advice. Mostly, Ill just try to listen to my friends, and theyll say the same thing over and over again.

Offers come up, but I'm still fighting for jobs and auditioning and being rejected.

You need an audience to help you figure out what's working and what's worth putting on your album or your special - or even just what's worth touring with.

I do. You know, I made a mistake using a private e- mail.

As I listened, it occurred to me that interest in and affection for the animals that share the planet with us may be a more unifying force than any other.

Can you afford to ignore China? It's like saying you can afford to ignore the internet. I don't think so.

Out of all artists, authors are the least trained for the spotlight. Wanting attention isn't a requisite part of the package.

Burn all the statutes and their shelves: They stir us up against our kind; And worse, against ourselves.