If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then.

Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.

Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.

I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

Sometimes you have to wander a bit, and do what you don't want to in order to figure out what it is you're supposed to do.

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone

People can learn to be more optimistic by acting as if they were more optimistic.

Be strong in the Lord.

Because change creates opportunity, when we do it through purpose and awareness, we are working with the fates, and in turn they smile upon us.

I've been called the journeyman. It's really more by default than it is by design.

I think I would be happy in that place I happen not to be, and this question of moving house is the subject of a perpetual dialogue I have with my soul.

Hillary Clinton was saying Bill Clinton has tendencies toward being sexist.

Many voted in 2008 with the desire to see racism and racists humiliated by having a qualified black man elected president.

What I've learned is that the most precious commodity you can have in a relationship is honesty, good or bad.

The fact that so many are willing to accept need-based aid signals a fundamental change in the American character.

We flee away from cities, but we bring The best of cities, these learned classifiers, Men knowing what they seek, armed eyes of experts.