If you thought eighth grade was tough, try it with fangs and a fear of garlic.

It never gets easier, missing you. And sometimes I wonder if it ever will.

To his amazement, he could already hear Henry snoring in the backseat. That guy could fall asleep on a car trip to the mailbox.

The worst pain in the world goes beyond the physical. Even further beyond any other emotional pain one can feel. It is the betrayal of a friend.

Because teachers, no matter how kind, no matter how friendly, are sadistic and evil to the core.

Bullying is a horrible thing. It sticks with you forever. It poisons you. But only if you let it.

If citizens followed their leaders' example throughout history, the human race would have died out centuries ago.

Getting staked had been a hard lesson in choosing one's friends wisely.

Growing older is mandatory, but growing up is optional.

Sometimes you have to be alone to think, and sometimes the best place for thinking isn't home.

The world is full of monsters with friendly faces.

I was a businessman for 16 years of my life, so when I started writing, I wanted to keep my literary identity separate.

In politics one may remain aloof and become irrelevant or get involved and get corrupted.

Those who are afraid of death will carry it on their shoulders.

I have a deep suspicion of social institutions and tradition in general.

I was so keen to become a comedian that actually doing the comedy itself almost came second.

You have the right not to be killed, unless it was done by a policeman or an aristocrat.

Sexiness isn't being young, hot and wearing a bikini. It's being powerful and feeling like you belong in your skin and it feels good.

My goal was always getting my work out in the world, and in many ways, I feel like the luckiest person alive.

Truly man is a marvelously vain, diverse, and undulating object. It is hard to found any constant and uniform judgment on him.

In the summer, the days were long, stretching into each other. Out of school, everything was on pause and yet happening at the same time, this collection of weeks when anything was possible.