If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.

To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.

Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?

Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.

God's everywhere, but I gotta go down (to church) to see him? Really? And he's mad at me down there, and I owe you money?

Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking.

Surround yourself with positive people. Also, be a positive person. Root for people. Somebody else's success is not your failure.

My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.

Nothing worse than when a 6 acts like a 10.

I've never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It's always the little things that do me in.

Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.

Hate feeds on itself, while love will always find itself fed.

Blood is the price of victory

We're not talking about insignificant amounts of code. It's substantial System V code showing up in Linux.

The inspirations of today are the shams of tomorrow the purpose has departed.

Customs are generally unselfish. Habits are nearly always selfish.

I'm a father; that's what matters most. Nothing matters more.

Once Iran gets nuclear weapons, they may believe that they are no longer vulnerable to either.

I don't dress any particular way to impress anyone or market myself for my music. It's actually who I am.

As I turn 91... I have to admit my hours at the easel have diminished.

Making records is fun. It's not some big statement. You're allowed to make mistakes.