If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

If you know the results, why will you try to solve the problem? If you know the meaning of life, why will you try to understand it? Sometimes it is better not to know the answer.

You are heading towards the top if you raise the bar of your standards inch by inch each hour! There is no quick way to success

People do change. And no matter how close we once were, and how much we opened up to each other, maybe neither if us know anything substantial about the other.

I tend to stay up late, not because I'm partying but because it's the only time of the day when I'm alone and don't have to be performing.

To name something is to wait for it in the place you think it will pass.

When men cut jobs, they're seen as decisive. When women do, they're vindictive.

In youth the human body drew me and was the object of my secret and natural dreams. But body after body has taken away from me that sensual phosphorescence which my youth delighted in.

I just want to stay in my hotel room, read my book. I enjoy that private time.

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money.

In the harshest place on Earth, ... love finds a way.