If you want a friend, you don't buy a friend, Eric, you earn a friend through love and trust and respect.

The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.

I ain't no movie star, man. I'm a booty star.

I believe the ability to think is blessed. If you can think about a situation, you can deal with it. The big struggle is to keep your head clear enough to think.

A lie is profanity. A lie is the worst thing in the world. Art is the ability to tell the truth.

Two things people throughout history have had in common are hatred and humour. I am proud that I have been able to use humour to lessen people's hatred.

I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells.

Booty is just a ghetto expression, and I'm just a booty star.

All humor is rooted in pain.

I had some great things and I had some bad things. The best and the worst . . . In other words, I had a life.

If I thought about it, I could be bitter, but I don't feel like being bitter. Being bitter makes you immobile, and there's too much that I still want to do.

I set a high standard for myself.

Asking questions is an art.

When we hear the bird sing, it hears only how to love. (Quand on entend l'oiseau chanter, - Lui n'entend que comment aimer.)

It's actually safe to create a universe in your basement.

That mush plays havoc downstairs, you know?

Experience, like a pale musician, holds a dulcimer of patience in his hand.

We've gotten to the point now where Republicans and Democrats have nothing in common besides being members of the 'caustic caucus,' and we can't get anything done.

I found the source of global warming is coming from the hot air coming out of Washington.

I don't believe in original melodies. There are only so many computations of eight notes.

It was tremendously exciting to discover that science was not destroying religion, as people popularly believe, but that it could cast light on theism and Christianity.