If you want to cry, you're not going to like my books.

You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."-

I shot that sucker right in the gumpy." Grandma Mazur

The 'Barnaby' books were always intended to be graphic novels.

I'm done with men. I have a hamster. That's all I need.

When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.

My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco.

Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.

-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-

Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.

Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.

Learn soon...Reach moon by bus, if you late ...they will kike you out

What’s the point of having beliefs and values if we don't stand up for the former and live by the latter?

Even with all the lights off, the room was as bright and insistent as Martha Stewart’s smile.

No man ever saw a government. I live in the midst of the Government of the United States but I never saw the Government of the United States.

Don't mess up the environment until you're quite sure what you're doing.

Read the Bible. Work hard and honestly. And don't complain.

It's funny because the most sane women I've ever met are my mom and my grandmothers. I think you have to be incredibly sane and self-aware to function in relatively insane environments.

Every innovation scraps its immediate predecessor and retrieves still older figures – it causes floods of antiques or nostalgic art forms and stimulates the search for museum pieces.

My parents are actually very hip. They're way hipper than me.

Patriotism is a lively sense of collective responsibility.