If you want to give a man something practical, consider tires. More than once, I would have gladly traded all the gifts I got for a new set of tires.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Our concern for victims is the secular mask of Christian love.

Work for what you want, pray for what you need and fight for what you've always dreamt about.

Food is a lot of people's therapy - when we say comfort food, we really mean that. It's releasing dopamine and serotonin in your brain that makes you feel good.

As to happiness in this life it is hardly compatible with that diminished respect which ever attends the relinquishing of labour.

Just charge me with the usual.

Where we have strong emotions, we're liable to fool ourselves.

Anger or hatred is like a fisherman's hook. It is very important for us to ensure that we are not caught by it.

I beseech you to correct one fault - severe speech of others; never speak evil of any man, no matter what the facts may be.

Thankfully I've been quite lucky in my career, but it's always good to re-evaluate things and think about what else you want to do.

God will not have his work made manifest by cowards. Always, always, always, always, always do what you are afraid to do. Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.