If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

What values do achievement, degrees, and diplomas have if you don't have wisdom and love?

Happy is entirely up to you and always has been.

There is no other place on earth even remotely like New Orleans. Don't even try to compare it to anywhere else.

I face the world as it is and cannot stand idle in the face of threats to the American people. For make no mistake, evil does exist in the world.

This was long before the term 'single-parent family' came into use; back then it was a 'broken home'.

Fairy tales dont tell you that dragons are real, but that they can be defeated!

No matter the situation, I stay focused and motivated on my goals because that's the way I was raised.

Absolute power demoralizes.

One who has sinned cannot escape retribution in any other way than by repentance corresponding to his sin.

Nobody's safe, humor wise.