If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Isn't strength the ability to renounce every lie in your heart?

Time heals all wounds

I slide to my knees and say, "Please let this be over." Then, I'm not ready for it to be over.

At its best, life is completely unpredictable.

We consider that the lives of all beings are just as precious as our own, and through this we develop a sense of concern for others.

The problem with being a modern woman, I thought, as the front door swung wide, is that you have to pretend to be stronger than you are.

I love three things," I then say. "I love a dream of love I once had, I love you, and I love this patch of earth." "And which do you love best?" "The dream.

When the chips are down, grandmothers can be counted on to do whatever's necessary. When the chips are down for grandfathers, we just go into the kitchen and get more chips.

The day I am afraid to do, that is the day I am no longer fit to lead.

The way to get unstuck is to start down the wrong path, right now.