If you watched 'Lost,' sometimes the episodes were crazy good and sometimes you're like, "That one was just sorta there."

I was a bartender at a Pizzeria Uno's for nine years. The people I worked with were amazing, but it was quite possibly the most miserable time of my life.

I steal props from SNL a great deal. Almost every sketch Im in, I try to grab something from it, so I have a storage space full of props.

My mom makes something called green pie, which I thought was a delicacy that many people only had at Thanksgiving, but it turns out it was just Jell-O with whipped cream on it. And it's delicious.

When I was at Upright Citizens Brigade, I would pretend to be a sad, drunk rapper.

In my mind, not in real life. My rap name will be Optimus Rhymes. Or the Notorious B.o.B.

These days with the web, you can burn out a character really quick.

Me, Billy Crystal and John Goodman hang out non-stop, and all we do is silly voices. We hang out in a little closet and do voices together.

I'm not very big on politics. I'm a comedian and not that smart. I don't have the mind capacity for it.

I'm very wary with impressions - I don't think I'm very good at impressions, I hate doing them.

I'm very bad with music. I don't know any new music. I've listened to the same 10 or 12 albums my whole life.

In the end, it is important to remember that we cannot become what we need to be, by remaining what we are.

I raised my right hand and placed my left on the Quran, which was being held by my wife and mom. Suddenly, I was blinded by a cascade of camera flashes...

But this bus was a bit too full. The driver only appeared to control the glass and metal around him. In reality, he was at the nose of a travelling paroxysm.

Sugar, rum and tobacco are commodities which are nowhere necessaries of life, which are become objects of almost universal consumption, and which are therefore extremely proper subjects of taxation.

My brain said no. But my heart!

To find fulfillment...don't exist with life - embrace it.

Every time I stand in front of mirror, I found my face too ugly, so I thought I have to get the role in some movies which cover my face with make up.

Color possesses me. I don't have to pursue it. It will possess me always, I know it. That is the meaning of this happy hour: Color and I are one. I am a painter.

When you see an opportunity to change the world, get up and get the job done!

Too many!' James shouted, and slammed the door behind him.