If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

For success, choice is more important than action.

How could I ever forget my best friend, the man, who had changed my destiny simply by allowing me to write about him?

Every time Paul and Gene use my makeup, they have to pay me a royalty check. I think they changed the makeup so they didn't have to pay me.

If global extinction is to be avoided, woman must unite and come to terms with their destiny.

Well, with prophecy you got to see what happens.

No matter what form the relationship might take, he was the only person she could picture sharing her life with.

News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.

[David Harker asked: Dr Pauling, how do you have so many good ideas?] Well David, I have a lot of ideas and throw away the bad ones.

Everything in the universe has a purpose. There are no misfits, there are no freaks, there are no accidents. There are only things we don't understand.

Everything that would begin to make somebody a good student would tend to make him or her a poor artist, and vice versa.