If your house burns down, rescue the dogs. At least they'll be faithful to you.

Tequila. Straight. There's a real polite drink. You keep drinking until you finally take one more and it just won't go down. Then you know you've reached your limit.

And once by God, I was a Marine!

One of the good things about getting older is you find you're more interesting than most of the people you meet.

I know my career is going badly because I'm being quoted correctly.

As soon as people see my face on a movie screen, they knew two things: first, I'm not going to get the girl, and second, I'll get a cheap funeral before the picture is over.

Ah, stardom! They put your name on a star in the sidewalk on Hollywood Boulevard and you walk down and find a pile of dog manure on it. That tells the whole story, baby.

I only make movies to finance my fishing.

If I have any appeal at all, it's to the fellow who takes out the garbage.

Newman has it all worked out. I get a million. He gets a million two, but that includes $200,000 expenses.

There are two types of people: those that are going somewhere and those that ain't.

Books are a narcotic.

Prayer is better than pills.

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit the stores are open late and thanks to television you can shop in bed.

Listen, if the mayor wants to have a debate about education in this city, I got three words: bring it on.

Everybody laughs when fatty falls down.

From a very early age, as far back as I can remember, I always played sports.

People endure what they endure and they deal with it. It may corrupt them. It may lead them into all sorts of compensatory excesses.

I was totally all about the American Girl dolls when I was little - I had so many.

Kevin refilled my plastic cup with more box wine. I smiled thanks. Kevin smiled welcome. Jake kicked my ankle.

Truthful movements spontaneously attract to themselves all manner of pure and disinterested help.