If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Money is permission to live.

​Till mirrors were Invented, Face was not You, Not Even part of Your Performance.

Don't say you miss me when it's your fault I'm gone

All of the signs we invented growing up and we never invented one for 'he's standing right behind you'?

The next day John seeth Jesus coming unto him and saith. Behold the Lamb of God which taketh away the sins of the world.

As we gain experience with the Holy Ghost, we learn that the intensity with which we feel the Spirit's influence is not always the same.

I never know tomorrow what I might be doing. I just ask God to lead me and show me and direct me and help me and support me in it. So I just wait to hear the call.

And I also have a camera, a Web cam, and I have one at home, so I can hook up and talk to the girls, and they can see me while we're on the bus in the middle of nowhere.

I'm not scheduling my entire life to death in order to be able do the work I've got to do. So at the moment I'm quite happy.

I kind of have to be a master of cleaning, extracting and trusting my data before I do anything with it.