Ignoramus: a person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Paradise of Lailah Gifty Akita is reading, wondering and writing.

If the Bible is true, then I'm Christ.

We defend and we build a way of life, not for America alone, but for all mankind.

I'd go back to Leeds at any time, but not right now.

The ear of the bridled horse is in the mouth.

Books are the best friends you can have; they inform you, and entertain you, and they don't talk back.

Everything I write is about me.

Spirituality is recognizing the divine light that is within us all. It doesn't belong to any particular religion; it belongs to everyone

Seeking happiness apart from a right relationship God is like trying to turn on a light that's unplugged.

We are cutting things kids like-music, art, and gym classes; stuff that kept me in school. This country can't survive without you kids. It's all about you kids.