Illinois is the only state where the present governor rides around in a car whose license plate was made by a previous governor.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Let us compete with ourselves, not with others.

Romanticism is the expression of man's urge to rise above reason and common sense just as rationalism is the expression of his urge to rise above theology and emotion.

I've been called Mr. Patient Money because I have the patience to work through challenging circumstances.

The great corrupter of public men is the ego - corrupter because distracter. Wealth, sensuality, power cannot hold a candle to it. Looking in the mirror distracts one's attention from the problem.

I'm not just trying to be a good game manager. I'm trying to be great.

He who knoweth the reader, doeth nothing more for the reader. Another century of readers - and spirit itself will stink.

Donald Trump seems to be unconcerned about the Russian aggression in Ukraine. By doing this he tells them that they can go ahead and do what they are doing. That is dangerous.

Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving.

The shortest road to wealth lies in the contempt of wealth.

Music is generally important to blind people, and most of the blind people that I have come into contact, through my parents, music is very special to them.