Illiterate him, I say, quite from your memory.

He is the very pineapple of politeness.

A circulating library in a town is as an evergreen tree of diabolical knowledge.

When of a gossiping circle it was asked, "What are they doing?" The answer was, "Swapping lies.

An aspersion upon my parts of speech!

Won't you come into the garden? I would like my roses to see you.

A bumper of good liquor Will end a contest quicker Than justice, judge or vicar.

An unforgiving eye, and a damned disinheriting countenance!

Fertilizer does no good in a heap, but a little spread around works miracles all over.

Never say more than is necessary.

The surest way not to fail is to determine to succeed.

A philosophy that cannot be lived is no philosophy at all.

I have a little dog who likes to nap with me.He climbs on my body and puts his face in my neck.He is sweeter than soap.He is more wonderful than a diamond necklace, which can't even bark...

Closing your mind to religion is no different than the close-mindedness that religions can cause.

I believe that free money is as addictive as cocaine

Today more Americans are imprisoned for drug offenses than for property crimes

Men are so quick to blame the gods: they say that we devise their misery. But they themselves- in their depravity- design grief greater than the griefs that fate assigns.

I always wear the same thing onstage.

Life, even in the hardest times, is full of moments to savor. They will not come this way again, not in this way.

Face your path with courage, don't be scared of people's criticism. And, above all, don't let yourself get paralyzed by your own criticism.