Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Somebody dies and people eat your food. Funny how that works.

How fortunate for leaders that men do not think (also, What luck for rulers that men do not think).

When a man's making love, the last thing he thinks about is war.

The English were infuriating. Everything was designed to put an outsider at a disadvantage. If you had to ask, you didn't belong.

There are two great things that we need to find in life: one is love, probably the most important, and the second is work, and they compete with one another from time to time.

Don't let others put thoughts into your mind that takes away your self-confidence.

I think the artist has an ability to draw pictures for people to where they can process these messages that otherwise they wouldn't be open to hearing.

There is no substitute for intuition.

Use lots of paint and don't worry, they will make more.

If someone is going out of his way to ignore you, he is not ignoring you, he is obsessed by you.