In America there are two classes of travel - first class and with children.

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest, and there is no such place as Bucharest, either.

Enjoy your youth.You'll never be younger thanyou are at this very moment.

One should forgive one's enemies, but not before they are hanged.

The place is also big enough. We could all live there without killing each other." -Rhage"That depends more on your mouth than any floorplan." -Phury

Hey wedding DJ, there is no way in hell I'm paying you $1, 000 when all you're doing is plugging your iPod into the sound system #AHOLE

A nation is a body of people who have done great things together.

If someone feels that he has never made a mistake in his life, it only means that he has never tried anything new in his life.

I'm like a plant, I reach for the sun.

Imagine the wars we would've avoided if prior generations had a website where they could debate tragedy and politics in terse sentences?

I believe in gender equality and I love that I can represent strong modern-day women.

You're brave. You are the bravest person I know, and you are my friend. I don't care if you are imaginary.